A Letter Home
by peacefulsands
Summary: Jensen writes a letter home to his sister. This first letter is written during the movie and as such makes reference to those events so can be considered spoilery. There will be ten letters in all. They are not written/posted in chronological order.
1. Underground

A Letter Home from Underground

Written for the **10_letters** challenge, for the **situation** table. The prompt for this letter was the word **underground**

**Disclaimer : **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings/Spoilers :** This letter is written during the movie and as such makes reference to those events so can be considered spoilery. There will be ten letters in all. They are not written/posted in chronological order.

* * *

Hey Sis,

I always thought nothing could ever be as hard as the day I had to tell you that I'd enlisted. Turns out I was wrong. Shit! I have no idea where to even start with this.

Do I need to tell you that I'm not dead? Probably just to be sure. That I didn't go against orders? That's a probably too, right? That I didn't deliberately do anything to hurt all of those children? No, I figure you know that one. . . You know that none of us would have willing done anything to hurt children. Would you believe me if I told you we were trying to get them out? Trying to save them? We were going to hike out through the jungle and let that chopper take the children to safety, but turns out they already intended to shoot it down. Shoot US down.

I wish things could be different. I wish I could be home with you, going to see the Little League games. I wish . . .

Pooch is safe and Carlos. We're looking out for each other. You'll look out for Jolene, right? And her little one when it comes? I'm stupid; I know I don't need to ask you to do that. You'll be each other's family until we can come home. Please.

For now, we've gone underground. We're trying to stay out of sight and just gather intel for the time being. We need to work out who did this to us, where they are, how they did it. We need to be able to turn the tables on them. You understand that, don't you? You know that no matter how much I want to come home, I can't right now. This isn't about me or the team anymore. It's about keeping you safe and about stopping whatever it is that we're dancing on the edges of.

I haven't mentioned Roque or Clay. They're here and, for the moment, they're safe. It's difficult to say how long that will last. Clay's grasping at straws, anything that might give us some answers and, of course, the fact those answers are being presented in a pretty female form isn't worrying at all for the rest of us. We all know how this plays out, but with no one else to talk to, no other immediate sources of information, he's taking the only one being offered.

Roque is unimpressed. Actually you know what, that doesn't begin to touch it. Roque is pissed, big time pissed, permanently up in Clay's face pissed and drawing a gun on the informant pissed. It isn't pretty.

The rest of us are walking on egg shells, always on guard to pull the two of them apart before they kill each other. We have to hope we don't implode before we get the answers we need to be able to come home.

It's all we want. Home. Family. An end to the lies.

I'm sorry for everything that you'll be going through. If I'd ever imagined that this would happen, I would never have enlisted in the first place. Is it too late to tell you, you were right? For all the wrong reasons, you were right.

I love you both. I'll be home as soon as I safely can.

I'm sorry I can't send you this, but I can't endanger you, so you'll probably never even know this much. In my heart, I have to believe though that you do know everything I've told you here, most of all that I love you both and I never intended any of this to happen, any of those children to be hurt.

Jake. x


	2. Lost

**Letter for the prompt : Lost**

Dear Sis,

We're not lost. Pooch says so. Clay says so. Roque raised his eyebrows at the suggestion in what was, in my not so humble opinion, a fair impression of something Cougar might say. So like I said, we're not lost, we're just having one of those 'can't see the wood for the trees' moments. It doesn't help that my gear got all shot up so we have no communication with the outside world (as in anything outside this freakin' forest anyway).

Looking on the bright side, my gear got all shot up. Yes, I know this is not normally something that I would think of as the bright side, but you see, it was my GEAR and not ME, therefore, 'Yay!' for some asshole shooting my gear and hey eventually this forest has to have an end, doesn't it?

We've set up camp for the night and for the record, I still don't like camping in the cold and wet. Cougs went out hunting for food while Pooch and I tried to get enough 'dry' wood to light a small fire and Clay and Roque spent the time arguing about which way was 'out'. I tried saying they should just wait until Cougar gets back but Pooch just told me to shut up. It's not like any of us have a better sense of direction than Cougar. Don't tell anyone but I'm pretty sure he's the only reason we haven't been walking in circles all day. Military training and techniques have failed us, because there aren't any landmarks, we can't see the freaking sky without repeatedly climbing ridiculously high trees, my gear got shot up, Clay's compass got lost when we crossed a river, Roque dropped his in a ravine when a lizard 'surprised' him (he shot it, so I'm seriously thinking of no birthday surprises for Roque in future in case he takes the same tack then) and that business with moss on the north side of a tree is not working; it's that dark in here that the moss is growing everywhere!

Right now, I'm thinking of home and your cooking and a warm bath with clean clothes and sitting down to watch some Leverage episodes. Even listening to you rave about how awesome Eliot's muscles are would be better than this.

I guess I shall have to stop writing now, Cougar is giving me 'the look' and given that he's letting me bunk in with him after what shall now be called 'the shooting of Jensen's stuff incident', I really don't want to piss him off. I mean if he kicked me out, I really don't want to be begging Roque to let me in out of the rain. Not only that, but I wouldn't trust him to let me in. So keeping on Cougar's good side is my main goal until we reach civilization and I don't need to share his bivouac to keep out of the rain, plus let's be honest, it's warmer with two and there are far worse people to share with . . . Roque springs to mind yet again.

Anyway, if I close now, I can get a couple of hours' sleep before my watch. I shall carry this out of this infernal forest and post it when we find somewhere that resembles civilization, after all, it might be a while before I manage to get back to base and pick up some new gear to be in touch via email. Don't worry about me, all is fine, apart from the cold and wet and being lost, but all of that beats actually having been shot.

Love you,

Jake. x


	3. Hungry

**Prompt – hungry**

Dear Sis,

It was good to come home and see you both last week. I can't believe how quickly my favorite girl is growing and her smile is perfect. It worries me being away for so long that she won't remember me next time I come back. I know that isn't your biggest worry about me doing this. I'm sorry that nothing I said can reassure you. I promise you I'll do my best to always come home in one piece.

Coming home reminded me just how good you are at cooking. Are you sure I can't convince you to come and work here in the Mess, because believe me I don't think the people who do work there have any taste buds or maybe they do and it's just practise for possible subversive torture techniques by enemy forces should we be captured. What they don't realize is that for halfway decent food we'd spill everything if we were caught. I'm pretty sure that's not what they were aiming for. Another possibility is that the US military has been infiltrated by enemy forces who are feeding the armed forces substandard meals in the hope of weakening us all when we go into action.

I'd have never believed that it was possible to make real food taste worse than MREs but they actually do have that skill. I'm hungry for your cooking. One of your pancake breakfasts . . . or maybe one of your maple syrup roast turkeys or some clam chowder. Seriously this is not good, just thinking about your cooking is making me even more hungry.

I miss you, sis.

I met this guy and his name's Pooch while I was in the mess the other day. You'd like him and apart from the unusual name he's not strange or anything. He seems pretty normal actually. Anyway, he's married to a woman who lives in Springfield. He said if you needed anything, he could put the two of you in touch. I'd kind of like that. I like the thought of you not being completely on your own, having someone you can talk to.

Plus you know there are a few things you could learn from her . . . She sends Pooch care packages, because she CARES for him. I used to think you cared for me, but I haven't had any care packages from you. I got a letter and my girl's painting (which was totally ace by the way and more things like that would be appreciated). Apparently, according to Pooch, care packages contain things like cookies. I like cookies. Jolene sends Pooch real proper coffee . . . I like real proper coffee. I wouldn't mind if you sent me real coffee.

He gets candy too. Just so you know, I like candy. Cookies and Candy . . . two of my favorite things in the world. After you and my girl of course, you're both my most favorite, followed closely by your cookies. . .

Missing you both, and your cooking, a lot.

Jake. x


	4. Trapped

**Prompt : Trapped**

Dear Sis,

This sucks. I wouldn't be writing this down if I couldn't be sure that you weren't going to get this until after the fact – one way or another. Important things first, I love you both, I always will. I'm sorry for all the worry I've ever caused you, all that before I enlisted and everything since.

So you'll have heard no doubt before you get this that I was caught, trapped and thrown in a cell. I'm okay. Not enjoying it obviously, although it's quiet without Roque shouting at me, but for the minute it's quiet and I'm alone. In this line of work, these are good things. I'm not giving up hope. They have even brought me food, not that I've eaten it. I'll avoid that while I've got the choice, but my previous theory that eating in the mess was actual training for capture was wrong. The cooks here seem able to make food that actually does look like food – I can actually identify the objects in the dish in front of me and it doesn't smell bad at all. I've still got some energy bars in my pockets, they didn't bother taking them, although they have taken my radio and all my weapons. I guess that wouldn't surprise anyone.

I can't say much in this letter, beyond I'm waiting and I have faith. I'm not going to be left here. The people I rely on will come for me. You and I can both count on that, on them. They won't leave me here.

I've made a new friend, I'm going to call him Roquette because he kind of reminds me of Roque – all hard shell and permanently looking for a fight. In case you were wondering, he's a cockroach, so the nice thing about him is he doesn't shout as much as Roque. This is a good thing, because I'm pretty sure that when they get me out of here, Roque will do a fair bit of shouting and somehow I expect most of it to be at me, even though this really wasn't my fault.

I can hear a lot of noise, explosion type noise outside, so I'm going to hope that's my rescue, but in the meantime I'm going to put this down and be ready to leave, just on the off chance the opportunity should arise.

Picking this up again, yay! I am no longer trapped, captured or anything else like that. Just as expected the team came and rescued me, and I was right there was much shouting afterwards. The biggest surprise was . . . Roque didn't shout at ME! Not once, not even a little tiny bit! It was awesome. I got to watch him shout at the guys who'd locked me up . Actually, in truth, I got to watch him do more than just shout at them, but everybody was still walking at the end of it, even if it was just into a military transport under lock and key – well that's everybody else, not us of course.

I like this team. They rescued me. I was thinking I might redirect some funds from somewhere where it's going to waste into their bank accounts, but I figured that might be a bit obvious and only Pooch buys a lottery ticket, so I can't hack some wins for them all that way. I guess I could just raise their interest rates on their bank deposits. That might be good. I think I'll go with that one.

I suppose you probably wouldn't approve. You'd probably tell me just to buy them a few rounds next time we're at a bar. Maybe I've spent too long listening to you, because that's probably what I'll do. At least for now.

I'm getting some downtime soon, so I figure I'll come back and see you all, check you're all okay and let you see that I'm fine too.

Love to you both,

Jake x


	5. Sleepless

**A Letter Home 5/10**

**Prompt : Eight - Sleepless**

**Disclaimer** : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Warnings/Spoilers** : This letter is written before the movie.

* * *

Dear Sis,

Geeeeeeeezzzzzzz, I am sooooooooooo tired. I want to sleeeeeeeeepppp! Heelllllllllllllppppp me! Save me from this torture! Argh! Woe is me! I am in need of rescue.

Yes, I know we're on post and there shouldn't be any sleep issues when I'm on post, but Life Sucks! It's not being fair to me! I need saving from this torture. There are times when I think the world hates me, I really do. I survive tours overseas in dire straits with minor injuries all things considered only to return to this complete and utter disaster. How can this be justice?

Can you believe that our house is uninhabitable? And no, it's got nothing to do with any attempts at cooking on anybody's part. None of us are too blame at all. Not even slightly – we weren't here when it happened and some nameless power that be decided given where we were and what we were doing at the time, that it was better not to mention it until we got back! So we arrive back exhausted and dying to curl up in our very own beds and sleeeeeeppppp properly, without any of us needing to be on watch or having to worry about being woken in the early hours because of some bastard deciding that was a good time of day, night, whatever, to resume whatever ridiculous plan for world domination they had decided it was time to try out. Yes we arrive back here on our beautiful US soil and head to our home ready for the first proper sleep in months only to find that "Ooops!" They all forgot to mention at the time, and then apparently forgot all together that our house has gone!

"Gone?" I hear you ask and I say, "Yes, gone!" You see, sis, next door apparently are even worse at cooking than Roque and they managed to set fire to their house and by the time they actually realized what they'd done the fire had spread through from their kitchen to ours and then when they finally got around to calling for help, the fire service concentrated on their house because no one realized it had spread to ours apparently. So in the end, our house has been devastated by fire and water damage.

Apparently we should be grateful they've put us up on post… Huh! That's easy for them to say! I'm not even talking about all the stuff we lost. So they're short on space… We're having to bunk in with each other…. You do know there's a reason why I bunk with Cougs right? And no, before you say anything, it's got nothing to do with him being the only one who'll put up with me! I bunk with Cougs, because we get on together. Everything works when Cougs is around.

Unfortunately, they only had three rooms and one of those was deemed "Officer's Quarters" so obviously went to Clay and then apparently someone pointed out that it was us and me more specifically and so the only way we were allowed to 'borrow' these rooms was if I bunk with Roque, who is apparently going to keep me under control.

More like he's going to be the death of me! There is a reason why no one bunks with him EVER! He snore he snores long, loud and continuous, deep, reverberating snores that echo endlessly round the room, penetrating pillows and ear plugs both to stop me ever sleeping. I am seriously considering smothering him with a pillow tonight in the hope of finally getting some sleep – either that or trying to get him minorly injured enough to have to spend at least one night in the medical center so that I can sleeeeeeeepppppp!

Cougs looks at me with a vague degree of sympathy, when he sees the deep suitcases I'm now sporting below my eyes, but Pooch just finds it amusing. At this point, I've asked Clay for some leave so that I can come home for a while. He's considering it apparently, providing I get the last of my paperwork done. Hopefully by the time I get back, Clay will have found us somewhere else to stay.

So, yay! Good news, I'm coming to stay with you next week all being well – don't expect me to do anything other than sleep though, however much I've missed you both.

Love you both, see you soon,

Your very tired brother,

Jake x


	6. Mourning

**A Letter Home 6/10**

Table : Four - Situations

Prompt : Three - Mourning ( all is not as it seems)

Disclaimer : All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

Warnings/Spoilers : This letter is written after the movie.

* * *

**A Letter Home When Mourning**

Dear Sis,

I am sure that you will have noticed both the handwritten nature of this letter to you and the fact that it came in a black bordered envelope. I am eternally sorry to inform you that Prudence has died.

I am certain that you will join us all in mourning her loss, she will be sorely missed. I cannot help but think of her slender form, her easy going nature, her friendly helpfulness. She was a source of much laughter and cheery banter.

I am heart broken and don't know how exactly anyone can expect me to be on my usual bouncy form when I am suffering the vast personal loss of one of my closest friends. She has travelled widely and wildly in my many trips around the globe, been an almost constant companion for the length of her life. She was always appreciative of the small gifts that I acquired for her, unstinting in her willingness to please and improve and be everything a guy like me could desire.

Cougar brought me beer and candy, but without Prudence, the taste is bland, the good feeling I normally get is absent. Is this what life will be like without Prudence? Is this what my life will be like forever now?

There is a hole in my heart that is empty without Prudence's love and affection, her unstinting loyalty and faithfulness. There is a loneliness in being apart from a world I have known and loved so long, without Prudence to run with I am isolated and trapped with my grief.

Pooch is feeding me PB and J sandwiches and Jolene's cookies in the hope of making me feel better. I have no idea where Clay is. He commiserated with me briefly and then vanished! Heartless swine! Doesn't he feel Prudence's loss like the rest of us?

My tears are falling and smudging the ink now, sorry.

Cougar said I'm not allowed to say that and I have to tell you the truth – Clay's back, he slammed the door, it made me jump and I splashed my beer . . . He doesn't understand my loss! He says you'd have known anyway by the smell of the beer on the paper . . . or at least I think that's what that expression is.

The expression has changed. Clay's not happy either. Clearly I am going to be made to sleep off my grief by these insensitive men around me! They do not understand Prudence's loss!

_Cougar here – Please do not worry. Jensen is in bed asleep and Clay has everything in hand. Jensen will not mourn for long. I hope you are all well, we think of you often._

Okay, so I take it all back, sleep is good, mayyyyyybbbeeee rationality is good or at least doable. Clay however is awesome! I take back everything I said about him being a heartless swine, he has a heart of gold!

I have buried Prudence under the apple tree on the edge of the cemetery.

I am now installing all my programs and setting up all my screensavers and wallpapers and favorites on Faith. Faith is my new laptop, she is all shiny and beautiful and drop dead gorgeous and her mind! Oh her mind, the speed at which she processes, the glorious way in which she configures. Faith is the love of my life, may Prudence rest in peace for her hard work and diligence in the past. Long live Faith!

Oh, hope you're all okay and can we get some cookies soon? Love to you both

Jake xx


End file.
